No, he's not crawling yet, and I'm okay with that

Allow me a few minutes to be cranky.

William is eight and a half months old. He's a great kid. He's curious, funny, a good sleeper (usually), a good eater, loves to laugh, and loves to play with his toys and books. He does not crawl yet. He can squirm his way backwards, or around in a circle, and he can get up on his hands and knees. He can even pull up to standing with a minimum of assistance. But he does not crawl yet. This is not a problem. With the current "Back to sleep" campaign aimed at reducing SIDS, it's not uncommon for those back-sleeping babies to not crawl in a traditional manner as early as stomach-sleeping babies did in the past. Some babies never crawl in the traditional way; they combat crawl or scoot around on their bottoms. So the fact that William is now crawling yet is not only not worrisome, it's not even unusual.

So I'm getting a little weary of the occasional random people acting either 1) superior or 2)falsely and irritatingly concerned for my child's development when I report (only when asked, mind you) that no, he's not crawling. No, he's not delayed, you silly fools. No, we're not worried. And you're just pissing me off by acting like he's got something wrong with him. Would you like me to cite the American Academy of Pediatrics on developmental milestones, or would you rather I just ring up my pediatrician husband on the phone and get him to talk some sense into you? Oh yes, and by the way, I wasn't an early walker, and I have a master's degree, so I think my son will be just fine, thanks.

These are the same people who act like it's a travesty that William doesn't have any teeth yet. Um, no. It's not a travesty. A, it's normal, and B, he's still nursing, so not having early teeth is nice for me. As my friend Beth points out, it all evens out, and no kid is going to be waiting for his baby teeth to come in when he's graduating from high school.

Now to be fair, I know lots of people who are perfectly nice when they ask questions about William. They don't act like their child is better for somehow having mastered a developmental milestone at an earlier age (see: Beth, mentioned above, my friend Jennifer, and numerous others). They're just trading notes, asking perfectly normal questions, and that's just fine with me. I learn a lot from those people, and I'm glad to have them around.

It's usually the people who really don't know me or William who use that grating tone of voice--you know the one:"He's not crawling yet??? Oh my goodness. Well..."

Grr. They make me all defensive. Sometimes it's not what you say, it's how you say it that really matters.

So, friends, if you catch me using That Tone when asking a question about your perfectly normal and adorable baby, you just let me know so I can cut it out. Now, if you're doing something like giving your baby scissors to play with or a bottle of Red Bull to drink, I might have a hard time shutting up, but I doubt that anyone I know would do something like that.

All right. I feel better now. Thanks.