Okay, so I'm about to admit something Big.
(deep cleansing breath)
I've had a change of heart about Elmo.
That's right. Elmo. THE Elmo. I've changed my mind about Elmo.
It occurred to me that I should be really grateful for Elmo. Because of Elmo and the distraction of his little segment on "Sesame Street," I was able to conduct a phone interview today with a woman who is president of one of the country's biggest nursing organizations. Because of Elmo's picture on his diapers, my child will nearly always consent to wearing a diaper. Because of the Elmo potty chair, my child is at least faintly interested in maybe, just maybe peepeeing in the potty one day. And because Elmo always wears his helmet when he pedals his tricycle around on television, I've been able to start preparing William for the reality that will accompany his first trike.
I know. This is a pretty huge confession on my part. I used to hate, hate Elmo. I cringed just in anticipation of hearing his screechy voice emanating from some otherwise harmless toy. I used to swear that I'd never ever ever buy anything that anything remotely to do with Elmo. When a neighbor gave us a baby gym that featured Elmo and sang snippets of Elmo songs, I smiled weakly and tried to figure out a way to disable the on/off switch.
Well. Times change.
I still don't plan to buy Elmo clothes or shoes, but that's mostly because I don't much care for any clothing with characters. But if an Elmo fork convinces my child to eat his green beans or an Elmo potty gets him to start potty-training, well, heck. Who am I really hurting if I keep rejecting the furry little red guy? Can we say "cutting off your nose to spite your face"?
So I'm a convert. Well, a convert with some caveats. I would still prefer to not have to listen to him unless I absolutely have to. I will always prefer not to have to listen to him. And truly my heart will always lie with Cookie Monster and Ernie. But Elmo makes my life better. He makes life with a stubborn, opinionated toddler better. So I have to give Elmo his props.
Okay. I feel better now.
(waves sign that says Give Elmo a Chance)