Thursday, May 01, 2008

Fear of flying

On Saturday morning, David and I are leaving on a jet plane...don't know when we'll be back again. Okay, yes, we do know. We're flying to Houston for a wedding on Saturday night, then turning around and flying home on Sunday.

I am nervous.

First of all, I am a terrible flyer. I hate doing it. It was torture, living in California for so many years and always having to board a plane to see my family or old friends. "White-knuckle flier" barely comes close to describing me when the plane is taking off. It's amazing I still have skin on my fingers, really.

Anyway, the second and more important reason that I'm nervous is...this will be my first overnight trip away from William. As in ever. I've never spent an entire night away from him. Never. Not since I gave birth to him.

Now, I'm okay with leaving him with his grandmother for a night. They get along like the proverbial house afire, and frankly, she probably takes much better care of him than I do. No, he'll be fine. But I'm all freaked out that our plane is going to crash, and my only son, my sweet little boy, will be an orphan and he'll grow up to not even remember his mama. He'll never remember the person who called him "Butterbean" or spent all those many, many hours over the past two years, reading books to him or playing choo-choos or soothing him back to sleep. And that's when I get all weepy. I'm getting all weepy right now, just thinking about it.

Yes, I realize that statistically flying is safer than driving. Yes, I know that everything will probably be okay. But everyone knows that I practically have a Ph.D. in worrying (it goes along nicely with my Ph.D. in Phillips Head Screwdriver usage). I always envision the worst case scenario. Always.

Everything's going to be just fine, right? Right?


natalie said...

I've had these same thoughts and fears, and you are NORMAL with your PhD in worrying. But everything's going to be fine. I promise. And have fun!!!

Tricia said...

Everything is going to be fine!

Try to have fun at the wedding. It's nice to get away once in a while, and it sounds like W. will have a great time with his grandma!

JenFen said...

I am glad I am not the only one who worries like that. I think it comes with the territory of being a parent. I always worry up until the point I am in the plane and then I am fine, which really makes no sense BUT I really hope you have fun. In fact, I am sure you will. I didn't leave Jake overnight until the month after his 2nd birthday when I was in the hospital having Jadyn. LOL!

Cannot wait to hear all about your trip and how much fun William has with Grandma.

Shab said...

I was afraid that I'd be a nervous wreck the first night I had to be away from Yago. (I think it was early January so Yago was 13 months old...I'll have to check my blog. I'm sure there's an entry on it!) I was not worried at all about Yago. I was worried about ME. I thought I'd be crying all night or something.

I actually ended up worrying about my lack of worry. I was not sad, didn't mope around, didn't miss my baby to the point of tears or anything of the sort.

He ended up spending the night with Grandma after he and Santi had dinner there. We both survived with flying colors! You will too!

Have a wonderful time at the wedding!!

Anonymous said...

Everything will be fine. You just have a good time! I know how you feel, but things will be fine. Love, Mom

Anonymous said...

Just remember, William will have this blog to remember you by, plus MILLIONS of pictures.....your dad!