Jennifer opines on baby products

Whew.
I'm tired.
I took William to Sears today to have his portrait taken again. That's some high-level baby wrangling, in case you didn't know. It required a couple of strategically scheduled nursing sessions, several carefully calculated wardrobe changes and the ability to make lots of loud, funny noises (think ringing telephone). Oh, and some hastily gulped Diet Coke for me. For what it's worth, it's harder to wrangle a baby who is now 15 pounds, 8 oz, because man, there's just so much more of him.
It was worth it, though. I think we're going to get some nice pictures out it.
But just in case I hadn't used up enough energy on making the ringing telephone noise six zillion times in an effort to elicit a sweet little grin or two out of the bambino, I decided, hey, why not go for broke and go to Target too?
While I was there, I bumped into two ladies (nurses, I presumed, from their matching scrubs) who were studying a baby registry printout and aimlessly pushing a cart around the baby section. They were trying to figure out what to buy for a shower gift for a pregnant coworker who is expecting her first child. They ruled out clothes, and they were debating the merits of certain items left on the registry.
Never lacking for an opinion, I made my (unsolicited) recommendation.
"Get her a bouncy seat," I said firmly and pointed toward the Fisher Price Ocean Wonders Aquarium bouncy chair that we have.
For those of you who don't know, I've become quite the bouncy seat evangelist. Some people like to sell others on Jesus or Mary Kay or the Atkins diet. Me, I tend to wax eloquently (I think) on two slightly less well-known items: the store Trader Joe's and the vibrating bouncy seat for babies.
Trader Joe's sells excellent and affordable organic food, wine, baked goods and other yummy stuff. Dried fruit of every type! Sushi, guacamole, gourmet cheeses! Two buck Chuck! Fresh flowers, scones and energy bars! Can I get an Amen?
Bouncy chairs allow Mama and Daddy the chance to eat dinner, take a shower or otherwise hang out with Junior without having to hold him every single of the minute of the day.
"Have you let the joy of a bouncy seat into your life?" I might ask an expectant mother or a new parent-to-be. "Do you really think your life is complete without a bouncy seat? What do you think might happen if you have the chance to accept the bouncy seat as your personal sanity savior and you don't do it?"
Because fun fact: lots of babies don't like lying flat on their backs all the time. They like to sit up or be propped up so they can see what's going on. Also, if William is a reliable source, the bouncy seat is pretty darn fun to sit in, too. Beyond the whole vibrating, bouncy part of it, his seat has the nice little aquarium arch that plays music and makes ocean noises.
It has even inspired me to compose a brief little ditty in their honor.
Ahem.
"William! William Wyckoff! King of the Bouncy Chair."
Seriously, I can count the bouncy chair as representative of some of the best money ever spent, when it comes to baby paraphernalia. I guess my top five list would be something like this:
1. Bouncy chair. See above.
2. Pack n Play. William has slept in three: his own at home, his Mama Judi's at her house, and his Mama Dee's at the beach. They work great as bassinettes for small babies and can be used as play pens later. And yes, they can be packed up, nice 'n' neat. That's despite the egregious use of the "n" instead of the proper "and."
3. Boudreaux's Butt Paste. Yes, that's its real name. Yes, it puts Desitin and other diaper creams to shame, to crying shame. Also, it has a funny little picture of a silly baby on the package that makes me giggle. And seriously, doesn't it make you giggle to say "butt paste?"
4. Gerber's waffle-knit cotton blankets. This is the gold standard when it comes to blankets for swaddling squirmy little babies. They stretch, they're light-weight, and they're larger than those little receiving blankets that come four or five to a package. They're also irritatingly hard to find. Stock up if you find some.
5. Rubber ducky. Any kind will do. Bathtime is just not so much fun without one. Also, we prefer the kind with "HOT" printed on the bottom so that college graduates can figure out if the bathwater is warm enough.
I should make a whole long list and market it to first time moms. But those are the biggies.
And with that, I'm off to bed. The little prince is neatly swaddled in his blue waffle-weave blanket and dreaming of whatever babies dream of. Maybe he even dreams about his beloved bouncy chair. I'd better go get some rest so that I can be ready for him tomorrow...